It was the day after Valentine's Day, and I was taking the dogs outside to do their business. I walked them back by our condo dumpsters, because that is where we have the most open space, and it is where the dogs like to run ahead, and eat anything the raccoons pull from the dumpster. As I approached the dumpster, I noticed there was something on the ground. My initial instinct was that it was a bag of trash that was discarded by dirty men after being serviced by the working girls of our ghetto community. 
As I got closer, it was revealed that it was a stuffed teddy bear that was in pristine condition. As I picked it up, I noticed it still had the original tag. A red tag, attached to his ear, indicating it was $5.99 with the purchase of 3 Hallmark cards. The other half of the tag indicated this was Hallmark's Kiss Kiss Cupid Bear, and the instructions read "Press bears together, hear them kiss, and watch his wings flutter!" I love the exclamation on the end. It signifies some magically display of action will be shown if two of these bears are touching.
But I could not help wonder the journey of this little bear. I don't think it is a coincidence that this item of affection was found on the ground, in front of a dumpster, the day after Valentine's Day. Possibly put there as a result of a poor heave by a scorned lover? Maybe the receiving girlfriend saw the price of $5.99 with the notice of 3 Hallmark cards, and wondered, "who are the other skanks that might be receiving cards?" Perhaps she thought the bear gesture was not enough to win her love.
And where is the other bear? This bear is clearly not something you buy just one of, and leave the store. You have to buy two, otherwise, what is the point? You cannot give this cute bear to someone, and have them be disappointed there is not two of them to hear the kiss and see the wings move! This bear was an only child, I know because I looked in the dumpster. If I would have found the other one, I thought, only for a fleeting moment, that I could pass this off as my own purchase and give it to Shannon. But I am sure she would have been suspicious when one of the bears smelled like spoiled meat.
These bears are clearly for the first time love birds. Those individuals that clearly have a difficult time showing emotion. Once you give one of these bears, you have to leave them both with your significant other. How weird would it be to bring your bear every time to go over to your girlfriend house, just to put them together and watch their wings move. Afterwards, you take it home? Seems creepy!
Thank you douchey boyfriend!
Leave your thoughts on how that bear found its way to the dumpster in the comments below......and thanks for reading!
