A simple blog about my life, my comedy, and all the struggles along the way. It is also a random assortment of ideas and thoughts that rattling around in my brain.
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Thursday, November 3, 2011
My Thoughts on Occupy Cincinnati
In my opinion, many of the people seemed to join the movement because they wanted to say they were part of something. I joined protests in college, but only because they were on my way to one of my classes. I really didn't know specifically the reason I was protesting. It was just fun to hold a sign, in a group, for a couple of blocks, and tell my friends I was involved later in the day. I remember one such protest where the signs said, "I have sex to cum, not to conceive." Who wouldn't want to join that protest?
Many of the members wore their citations they received from Cincinnati police around their necks as a proud trophy of their deviance and many of the people had been on-site for days. How can they afford the time? Will they become part of the social system funded by the system they are protesting?I am all for the people's rights to assemble, but get a permit, have an agenda, and have a clear focus of what you are trying to change. Go through the proper channels to obtain the proper facilities to accomodate your assembly, such as sanitation. Don't use downtown Cincinnati as your restroom because you feel like you have the right to protest.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part II)
What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I)
As I thought of this awesome idea, I was still at work, finishing up some much needed office decor changes. I had brought a sticker to work that looks like a stencil of New York reflecting off of the water. In the move, I had removed this from Shannon's wall, and placed it on one of her pictures, using the glass as a holder for it. On the way to work, my "Low Fuel" light came on, which is did a couple of miles from home the night before. Pressing my luck as I have previously done, I once again took the chance that there is enough gas to get to work, which there was!
After putting up the stencil, and admiring my new office surroundings, I headed to the gas station. It was crowded, and each pump had cars waiting. I saw a young kid emerge from a POS (Piece of Shit). I knew that he would not been long, as I reminisced about my youth and the fact I never had any money to put gas in my car. I pulled in behind him, and my instincts were right. He barely put the nozzle in the tank before he was pulling it out, and hopped back in his car. As I pulled ahead, I see that he only put $3 into his pile of rust.
I went to put my debit car into the pump, when I realized, I forgot my wallet at home. At this point, I was on fumes, and unless I come up with at least a gallon of gas, I am screwed! I dug around in my car, and for some reason, I had $6 in my center console! Just by the grace of God those dollars were there. The line was relatively long for a simple gas station, and the it seemed like everyone wants cigarettes, and/or lottery tickets. What happened to just gas and soda? I got to the counter and said "Six on pump one please." Well, pump one was the pump that is closest to the window, and everyone could see I am driving a Hummer. I heard little snickers behind me, and one person said "really?" I could tell by there reaction that they thought it was a little ridiculous to put only $6 in a gas guzzler.
With gas prices being so high, I put my $6 into the tank in just under a minute. As the car started, the Low Fuel light faded, but the gas gauge barely moved. About 1/4 of mile down the road, the Low Fuel light came on again, only to mock my insignificant purchase. With 1.5 gallons in the tank, I knew that would be enough to get me home.
I was excited to ride my bike to the workshop. It was a hot day, but I needed the exercise. Little did I know that my excitement would quickly turn to frustration. The tires were flat, and needed air. The back tire inflated fine, however, when I went to put air in the front tire, the valve stem broke off inside the pump. Now I have a pump that I cannot use, and a tire that is still flat. The pump had to be disassembled, and the tube had to be replaced. All of which, I didn't really have time to do if I was to get to the workshop on time. Hastily, I fixed them both, and was ready to ride. I grabbed a pair of glasses that have yellow lenses for night riding, and they broke in my hands. Really? How much shit is going to have to go wrong before I can get out of the house?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Peoria Experience
But in our quest to perform a great set, we stopped in a place called the Red Barn in Peoria, Illinois, to work on a tight 5 minutes. Adam searched the internet and found this open mic, of which we knew nothing. We pulled past the place and saw the people were hanging out all over the outside of the building. It didn't look like anyone was inside. As we parked the car, and casually walked our way to the door, wondering if this was the best choice for our evening. Weaving through the crowd to the door, the look of the clientele looked very suspect.
As I walked in, the smell of herbal oil and stale beer hit me like someone just threw a rotten salmon in my face. And the people! What bad decisions did these people make to get here? Everyone had dread locks, tattoos, giant gages in their ears, and had a lost spirit appearance. The guy running the show said he had a full schedule of local performers and could not accommodate three guys who traveled over 4 hours. Whatever douche! We are out of here...after I get a back room piercing with a dirty needle....
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Online Dating FAIL! of the Week
I don’t know why, but I have always been somewhat facinated with the online dating scene. Browsing the pictures and profiles always stimulates my imagination as I try to create stories in my head for their life and what drove them to the online world of dating. These characters eventually find their way in short stories or archived for future writings.
I have never gone on a date from one of these sites, and personally, I find the interaction pretty cold, and impersonal. Plus, I am getting good at spotting the fake profiles, and know from your picture if you have kids or not.
But every once in a while, I run across some interesting profiles that beg the question, “Really, this is the picture you decided to show the world?”
Below, is one of those profiles!
At first you think this woman is a spontaneous, fun lovin’, laugh a minute kind of gal, unless, of course, you are creeped out by clowns.
But if you look a little closer, you realize, you might be in for more than you bargined for, especially in the hygene department. Why the hell would you post a picture of your hairy pits?
If you are not terrified by clowns, perhaps this picture will change your mind…….SHAVE THAT SHIT!