The Peoria Experience

I am on my way to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to perform at a satelite location for the World Series of Comedy. My traveling companions are two other Cincinnati comedians, Adam Minnick, and Homer Shadowheart. Adam is slated to perform in the wildcard round on Wednesday, which seems a little below him based on his talents. Maybe he just submitted a bad reel.

But in our quest to perform a great set, we stopped in a place called the Red Barn in Peoria, Illinois, to work on a tight 5 minutes.  Adam searched the internet and found this open mic, of which we knew nothing. We pulled past the place and saw the people were hanging out all over the outside of the building. It didn't look like anyone was inside. As we parked the car, and casually walked our way to the door, wondering if this was the best choice for our evening.  Weaving through the crowd to the door, the look of the clientele looked very suspect. 

As I walked in, the smell of herbal oil and stale beer hit me like someone just threw a rotten salmon in my face. And the people! What bad decisions did these people make to get here? Everyone had dread locks, tattoos, giant gages in their ears, and had a lost spirit appearance. The guy running the show said he had a full schedule of local performers and could not accommodate three guys who traveled over 4 hours. Whatever douche! We are out of here...after I get a back room piercing with a dirty needle....

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Online Dating FAIL! of the Week

I don’t know why, but I have always been somewhat facinated with the online dating scene. Browsing the pictures and profiles always stimulates my imagination as I try to create stories in my head for their life and what drove them to the online world of dating.  These characters eventually find their way in short stories or archived for future writings. 

I have never gone on a date from one of these sites, and personally, I find the interaction pretty cold, and impersonal.  Plus, I am getting good at spotting the fake profiles, and know from your picture if you have kids or not. 

But every once in a while, I run across some interesting profiles that beg the question, “Really, this is the picture you decided to show the world?”

Below, is one of those profiles!

At first you think this woman is a spontaneous, fun lovin’, laugh a minute kind of gal, unless, of course, you are creeped out by clowns. 

But if you look a little closer, you realize, you might be in for more than you bargined for, especially in the hygene department.  Why the hell would you post a picture of your hairy pits? 

If you are not terrified by clowns, perhaps this picture will change your mind…….SHAVE THAT SHIT!

Thank you Loraine Braun for This Nice Article on Me!

This article was published in the Cincinnati Examiner on Oct. 5, 2010 by Loraine Braun.

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No, there is not a typo in the name -- Kim E Sherwood IS a guy!  And if you have the privilege of seeing him perform, you will learn how he got that name from his parents.

This Grand Rapids, Michigan native began his comedy career while a student at the University of Michigan.  Even though he was a pre-med student, Kim auditioned for The Big Show, which is a student-run, sketch comedy production.  Making  callback was a surprise to him as he had no theatre or comedy experience prior to that.  Kim earned a place in the group and quickly became hooked.

Following a change of major, Kim became a financial consultant.  Life circumstances and his job ultimately brought him to Cincinnati.

Kim readily recalls his grandmother’s advice about life:  “Never hide your sense of humor from the world”.  That advice was taken to heart and has become the cornerstone by which Kim lives his life and how he approaches each and every performance.

He initially performed improv and even produced Improvapaloza, Cincinnati’s first comedy festival.  As a result of that festival, Kim founded and still performs with the award-winning local improvisation comedy troupe, Wits End.

In addition to improv, Kim performs stand-up and he finds both challenging.  Kim is quick to point out that with stand-up you are by yourself.  The work you do is yours to keep when you come off of the stage.  Kim currently is focusing more on stand-up comedy at both local comedy clubs and travels extensively to perform at other clubs and venues to develop his craft.  He has opened for numerous headliners and has the goal to feature and eventually be a headliner himself.

Kim would like for people to know that his comedy comes from the heart and is personal experience. His comedy is not imagined.  “The foundation is me and how I live my life.”  Kim’s comedy is high energy and his stage presence draws the audience in so that they eagerly travel with him on his comedy journey during his performances.  To learn more about Kim, visit his website.

Crowley’s, A Picture of a Cincinnati Bar, in a Chicago Hotel Room

I am on the road, traveling for my day job and stopping in various places to do some comedy, and checked into a Hampton Inn, outside of downtown Chicago.  After dragging all of my bags through the door and into the dimly lit room, I fumbled for a light switch along one of the walls.

Once I found the switch, the room became more habitable with the soft light of the energy saving bulbs illuminating part of the space.  As my eyes adjusted to the new light, I noticed a picture on the other side of the room, located right above the computer table.  The picture created a sense of déjà vu.  As I leaned in closer to examine the print, I was taken all the way back to Cincinnati, the city from which I had just came.

The print resembled a very familiar bar, Crowley’s, located in Mt. Adams in Cincinnati.  A bar that I use to live down the street from, and is located only 3 miles from where I live now.  At first, I dismissed my initial thought that this print was of the Cincinnati Crowley’s, at which I have so many times found myself over served.  For an hour I tried to convince myself that this picture just looks like a familiar place.  I mean what are the chances, that out of all of the rooms at the Hampton Inn, and all of their black and white pictures, I end up in a room with a picture of a Cincinnati bar?  A bar where I know the owners, and have performed with Kevin Crowley, an extremely talented actor in the Cincinnati area.

Eventually, I had to put my mind at ease.  After searching for images of the Cincinnati Crowley’s bar, it became very clear, that this print, in a hotel room in a Hampton Inn, in the Chicago-land area, was indeed, the Crowley’s I love.  Actually, it felt very nice to be so far from home, but with a glance upward at the picture, I can be taken back to the comforts of a familiar town.  But I still think it was creepy!

Comedian Mike Baldwin

I recently worked the Dayton Funny Bone and had an awesome time. This week was made not only by the amazing crowds, but two very funny comedians. The feature was a very talented Kansas City comedian by the name of Mike Baldwin. The winner of the Funniest Person in Kansas City, not once, but twice.
Not a very physical guy, but has some great facial expressions that really add to an already good punchline. He is a very good writer who’s comedy can connect with a very wide array of audiences. A very superstitious guy who wears the same t-shirt on stage because he had a great show once while wearing it. The superstition is paying off because Mike was hilarious every night.
Mike does sell a great t-shirt after the show, and you don’t even have to see his show to get the meaning. On stage, he has a great way of presenting it, which made me laugh every night. Buy a shirt at his official site www.comedianmikebaldwin.com.
If you get a chance, make sure you check Mike out when he comes to local comedy club, and buy a shirt!

Another Weekend, Another Fallen Soilder

It is another Saturday and I am so proud of the people I surround myself with on the weekend. A day of booze cruisin' on a pontoon up and down the Ohio river comes to a screeching halt after the boat docks.

My good friend here cannot wait to get off the boat and try his sea legs on land. Apparently, someone paid the gravity bill at the marina and it took him by suprise.

Not sure how long he laid there, because he was still there after we left an hour later.

Looking forward to next weekend.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Piss Drunk

We have all been there. A night a fun that quickly turns ugly the moment that one drink hits your lips. That one adult beverage that put you into a drunken tailspin from which you cannot recover.

Normally, this type of an event happens around friends. So when I think getting on the Hindenburg is a good idea, my friend let me know they smell gas and don't let me fire up a cigarette.

So where in the wide world of sports are this girl's friends? It is bad enough to pass out at a private party, but to pass out, on a bench inside Newport's levee, and then piss your pants...Priceless. Lord only knows how long she laid in those piss pants.

Here is to getting literally piss drunk.